More Scary, Eleventy-Foot Tall Mayhem Headed Our Way. I’m Already Quite TAKEN (2!)

 

Taken OUT, BEEAHH!

Uh, yes please. And thank you. I don’t know where it originated from, uh, originally, but GeekTyrant once again bitchslapped the internet by being the first person I know of to talk about it. And once again, it was DeekGeek who brought it to my attention. I’m not only slipping, but DeekGeek is getting better, because I knew it from her before twitter said anything to me. Regardless how many people are now better than me, the news is good indeed. Taken was a hell of a lean little brutality machine that managed to get by on PG-13 simply by the fact that it didn’t give a damn about titties or cgi blood-splatter, and just went right after what all of us really want, deep down. And that is to see a man who is roughly twice the size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and who just happens to be one of the more respected actors of this generation, literally carve his way through a crowd. I think there were more kills than minutes in this film, as a matter of fact. There was something refreshing in the way that the character played by Liam Neeson (who you may remember will play Lincoln soon), simply stated a goal (rescuing his daughter no matter what within 86 hours) and then does exactly that, with not a bit of character growth. And the movie makes not one excuse for this. There is no conflict in Neeson’s character, other than how quickly the next motherfucker needs to be strangled, shot, stabbed, or beaten to death on the path to the next guy. Simple? Yes. Entertaining as Hell? If you don’t like Taken you’re wrong. Bet you didn’t know you could be wrong about an opinion, but you are. Deal with it. Or Liam Neeson will kill your ass in less than 90 minutes.

Anyway, as I said GeekTyrant has the scoop on the fact that they are at this moment writing a sequel. GT makes a good point that I can literally think of no reason for a sequel, especially one not involving Liam Neeson. However, the singular only reason Taken was good at all was Neeson. There’s not another piece of the pie that saves or invigorates the original, which is admittedly a mish-mash cliche of about 79.4 billion action flicks before it, save for the fact that… IT’S FUCKING LIAM NEESON REMORSELESSLY KILLING SWATHS OF BASTARDS! And damn he sells it well. I think if it’s just some new story involving Neeson’s character Brian Mills finding himself in some new clusterfuck, possibly involving his old team that we barely get to meet in the first one, it could really be awesome. In fact, I just wrote it. Brian is getting ready to spend some time with his daughter abroad when, all of a sudden, his old mercenary buddy contacts him from the middle of an op-gone-wrong. The team’s cover has been blown and they’re being picked off for capture or death one by one. Only Liam Neeson can kill enough people to stop… well, whoever. That’s the thing here. Do any of us really care as long as it delivers even just as much as the first? I leave it to the masses. BRING THAT SHIT ON.

 

Thanks again to GeekTyrant, who are awesome. I don’t know how many folks they are, but they’re some cool folks. Follow them.